How Will You Remember?
It’s a joy to be able to coach and partner with so many awesome parents, adults and teens out there who are so committed to being better versions of themselves and their loved ones with ADHD. While I am confident my clients always take away something from my sessions, I know I am the one who is blessed when I hang up the phone or walk out of the room after a session ends.
How do I know this? Because it’s a joy working with clients who are so teachable and open to self-discovery.
In the beginning of my coaching relationship, my clients quickly learn they need to take notes. There are many times I begin virtual sessions (by phone), and I’ve gotten so used to the flow of the conversation, I can always tell if the client is taking notes or not.
In a normal session, we cover a great bit of strategies, facts on ADHD and about halfway through, I always ask, “How are you remembering this?” As the coach, I am writing all the pertinent information I need on my end, but my clients may not be because they are engrossed in the conversation and completely focused. (Shout out to hyper-focus ADHD!) They quickly realize they need to take notes!
This is a great way for me to learn about them, too, as we all have our own systems, styles and tools that work for us. ADHD and working memory are not the best of friends, if I may.
In my first session with clients, they will forget or not even be prepared to write down goals or points as we are engaging in conversation. Inevitably they ask me to repeat what I just said and I will (yes I am a meticulous note taker for that exact reason), BUT I will only allow this one time.
Part of the coaching process is for the client to become more accountable and put systems in place that work for them to succeed:
I have clients who have an ADHD spiral notebook where everything about our sessions and ADHD is written.
Others have planners or a scheduler where they write notes/goals and just need the “bare bones” of our sessions to write what they’ve chosen to work on.
I have students who use all kinds of apps and timers to help them stay on task and write/type things down.
But when I ask the client, “How will you remember this?” it’s not just the next week’s goals I need them to remember. I know by asking this, I’m also asking a very important life long successful strategy question.
Why? Because it doesn’t stop with our sessions. ADHD’ers are constantly needing to be reminded of things…every day.
Helping them figure out what works best for them is crucial to their success in business, family life, social life and their confidence. They need to know what system works best for them. AND it may be different based on their environments. What works well for our client sessions may not be the best for remembering details about a work meeting or what their children need for afterschool events.
Point being, they need to figure out how they will remember pertinent things every day to keep them successful. Part of what I do as a coach is tie that one question into our present coaching session and then bring it full circle to how they can use it in their everyday life.
Parents, you can ask this one simple question too! It is a great means of holding your teen responsible and accountable for homework, schedules, chores, etc. Try it and see what they chose as their tool for remembering – they may surprise you!
With Much GrADDitude (and better remembering),
Kelly
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